School is Mean+Summer Dreams

I'm getting so close. I have less than 30 hours of school left until I graduate! Right now though, I am stuck. (or I at least feel that way) I took all of my core classes as soon as I could (stupid idea) and now all I have left are communication courses. That's good in a way because I hate math. It is mostly bad though because due to the lack of teachers, most of the classes I need are only offered once and are all at the same time. None of the classes are 8am. I was told that I am a "untraditional" student and "traditional" students don't like 8am classes so they were trying not to offer those as much. Work is important, so this means I now have to go to school part time. Which only lengthens the time I am working on this dang degree. And therefore delays when I can go back to school to get certified in education.

All of this frustrates me so much! I know what I want to do (teach the little ones) and because I didn't come to that conclusion a couple of years ago, I am forced to go what feels like around the world just to get a certification that I could have worked for during these last four years I've been in college. Again, I feel stuck

So this semester is wrapping up. Last Thursday was Horrible Thursday (class registration), tomorrow is Tired Thursday (end-of-the-semester school work), and next Thursday is Celebration Thursday (spring semester is officially over!!).

Although I don't like looking forward to the Fall semester and all that is involved in making sense of the jumble of classes I've taken so far...I am looking forward to the summer! (who doesn't though)

Summer Goals....

Justin and I both thought that it would be best that I learn braille in the near future. Mainly so I can share the job of labeling kitchen appliances and pantry items. I will also be able to type notes to Justin if I need to. Plus I think it will be fun to learn something new, and it will give me the chance to see some of what Justin goes through on a daily basis. I'm either going to take a class at SFA during Summer I (if time and money allows) or the master himself will teach me! (uh, you know I meant Justin right?) I'm not sure how this is going to go because it seems rather confusing now. I'm really not sure if I'll ever be able to read braille by touch. Either way, I will dust off Justin's braille typewriter and start with sentences like, "The cat sat. The fat cat sat. The fat cat sat on the mat." At the end of the summer I will be the braille queen!!

Last Friday I bought a beginner Pilates DVD. Yeah, that intermediate one I started out on was tough. So hopefully I'll make a habit of doing pilates....by the end of the summer I will be ready to run marathons in my head!

I am planning on reading the rest of the Harry Potter series that I started last summer. After the wedding planning went into full gear I had little time to read Harry Potter.

I love watching movies so I to watch lots of movies this summer. Maybe Justin and I can watch a movie a week. Perhaps he would want to watch the Harry Potter movies once I finish a book...maybe??? We'll see.

Maegan and Philip are getting married this summer!! Yay! I will be in their wedding too. :)

I can't wait to have more time to hang out with friends and invite them over to our place.

So even though things might be tough now and tougher this summer....I have all those things to look forward to as well!

Friday: 4/25

The three of us (Justin, his mom, and myself) left early Friday morning for another appointment in Dallas. I'm starting to enjoy this little trip because it gives a chance for the three of us to talk about things that matter to us. I also hate the trip because it is usually an emotional and stressful day for us.


It seems like every Friday we find out another piece to the puzzle that is Justin's eye condition. We don't know the whole picture. We don't know what kind of vision the doctor is actually trying to save at this point. And up until yesterday we didn't know of some more dangers the doctor has been worrying about.


After the doctor looked at Justin's eye he literally breathed a sigh of relief. That was weird for us because we didn't know that there could be anything threatening until after the gas bubble absorbs. Evidently there has been a chance that the scar tissue could grow back "aggressively" and pull his retina loose even with the air bubble there. Well, that was news for us.


The GOOD NEWS is that everything is structurally sound in Justin's eye. The retina is attached where it is supposed to be. The bubble is slowly shrinking, and the steroids are sitting properly. All of this surprised the doctor. He really thought that he would look into Justin's eye and see a retina floating around. And then we would have to schedule another surgery.


It is scary for me to think that we didn't even know that was a possibility. We knew the scar tissue would grow back, but no way did we know that it could this soon. His doctor is the best around. He has been caring for Justin's eye since Justin was a young child. I think he is trying to protect us by not telling us his thoughts all at once. His facial expressions don't line up with what he is saying a lot, so I know he is being more optimistic with us than he thinks he should be. It would be nice if he would just put everything all on the table for us, but I don't think he wants to upset the three of us. And because Justin's eye is a rarity, I don't think he actually knows what is really going to happen.

So everything in his eye is looking good. No scar tissue is growing back as far as we can tell. Justin's eye pressure was down again, but not zero so that is good. He has to wear a bracelet that warns others that he has a gas bubble and can't go sky diving or whatever. That broke and he wasn't given another one so he is happy about that.

THE BEST news for Justin was that he could go to church and school!! (as long as he is on his side every other time) This week is "Dead Week" so Justin can go just in time for the final exam reviews. He is very very happy to be allowed to do little activities. We scheduled a not-so-early appointment for next Friday. I'll keep ya posted!!

Friday: 4/18

Thank you so much for all of your prayers. I wasn't able to go with Justin to his appointment this past Friday, so this post probably won't be as detailed as the last ones...

Everything seems to be holding up in his eye. There is still no infection. The gas bubble is shrinking, and the steroids are slooooowly dissolving.

Great news! Justin's eye pressure was up by 2 points which is awesome. The steroids are making it to the back of his eye and might actually be doing their job. :)

After much pleading on Justin's part (just kidding...maybe), the doctor said that it would be ok for him to go back to minimal activity soon. That means he won't be able to run around all day long, but he can get out and do things as long as he stays on his side at home. Some of you might get to see Justin!

We still won't have any idea of how Justin's vision will be any time soon. I'll let you know of any updates on Friday.

Last Friday

I promise I'm not neglecting my blog!

It's just days like yesterday that leave very little room to post...go to school, go to work, stay at work until close to 6pm while the doctors are in a meeting so I could be there just in case something happens...at this point I was SO SO SO grateful for the tasty lasagna Sam and Christina McFarland (small group friends) brought over not only because I found out that Justin does eat lasagna, but also because he would have starved without it. I, afterall, had a Voodoo and Ghost lecture to attend and one should not be late to a Voodoo lecture! (more on that at a later date) So I went home, dished out the lasagna, took the dogs out, begged with my husband to lay down and not help me, and off to the Voodoo I went!

But now...now I am sitting in my dark, quiet workplace listening to the melodius Pavarotti (that's what one of the doctor's picked out). So I suppose now is a better time than ever to update those of you who have not heard from us on Justin's eye appointment last Friday.

Justin does not have an infection! Infection was one of the many risks involved with his operation that could have lead to blindness. The doctor was happy to report that he was infection free. :)

So far everything that was put in place during the surgery is holding up well. Gas bubble--check! Steroids--check, check! Due to the gas bubble, the doctor can't see to the back of Justin's eye enough to tell us if things are actually helping. We must wait until the gas bubble fully absorbs into Justin's eye before we see how much the surgery actually helped or what harm the surgery caused.

Justin's doctor is still trying to be optimistic, but he informed us that there is a possibility that when the gas bubble does absorb the eye won't be able to support itself. What does that mean? It is possible that Justin would need two more surgeries to fix things.

For right now though, we are just waiting to see what happens. It could be weeks before we know what his vision will be like. Justin is hoping that the doctor will let him go easier on the positioning once he sees him this coming Friday.

We'll let you know what happens on Friday. Thank you for your prayers. We really do appreciate it.

And now I must say...

THAT I AM SO EXCITED THAT TODAY IS MY EARLY DAY! I can spend more time with Justin and get rid of the big black cloud hanging over my head that is my school work.

A Long Due Update

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!! I told Justin that I would post an update as to how his surgery went. His surgery was last Thursday so I'm a little late. For those of you who do not know that Justin had a surgery, read his latest post so you can see why he had a surgery. Everything kind of happened all at once so please don't be upset if this is your first time to hear about it.

I'm going to try my best to explain everything so those of you who have not spoken with us will know what is going on. And maybe this will clarify some things if some of you who have spoken with us are confused.

First of all...Justin is doing well. He was in an intense amount of pain for most of Thursday, but now he is only dealing with a small amount of discomfort. Justin is having to stay on his left side for 3-4 weeks so that the gas bubble they put in his eye presses against the part of his eye they did surgery on. We thought he would be having to lay on his stomach like the last time he had retina surgery, but this surgery was evidently different. At first he was relieved that he didn't have to stay on his stomach...now he knows that it stinks to stay in one position all the time not matter the position! The gas bubble is blocking his vision so he can't see anything. Every now and then he can see a bit of shadow or faint light, but for the most part he doesn't see at all. Of course, that is to be expected considering he just had surgery and there are steroids and a gas bubble floating in his eye.

Findings...The doctor was hoping to find a microscopic tear in Justin's retina. I know that sounds weird that they were hoping for that, but at least it is mendable. Instead, he found scar tissue growing both behind and over Justin's retina. You could tell by the look on the doctor's face that this was bad news. The problem with scar tissue is that you can remove it, but it will just keep growing back. The other problem with this particular scar tissue is that it is pulling on the retina and could one day (if it is continually pulling) lead to a retinal detachment. So, the doctor lasered off as much as he could. There were parts that just would have made things worse if he had removed it. The good news is that they found that and fixed as much as they could. If they had not opted to do surgery it could have been very bad. The doctors injected steroids and placed crystal steroids in his eye to raise the eye pressure (which should result in better vision) and to slow the growth of scar tissue.

And that is where we stand. Justin has an appointment this Friday and we are praying that his eye pressure is higher. We don't know the "big plan" the doctors have for him from this point on. Or if there is one. We are just waiting to see what his eye pressure is on Friday, what his vision will be like once the gas bubble evaporates, and how fast the scar tissue grows back.

Justin is not only the funniest person I know, but he is also the bravest person I know. Before the surgery he was calm and at peace with the unknown because he knew that whatever would happen was in God's will. I wasn't the person getting operated on and I did not have that kind of peace about me! Although I believed that God was in control, I was not calm. Justin has always been the one to have hope for the future and move on. Nothing has gotten in his way. He has complete trust in God. This is one of the many reasons I respect and admire that man. If only everyone could be like Justin. I love you Justin!!